Greetings to the four or five of you that actually read this blog! It has been a long time since I have written anything, but it has not been due to any lack of willingness. Life has been busy and interesting to say the least. I’ve been in something of a nostalgic mood recently, and have touched base again with some of my past experiences. In going through some things I had stored away, I ran across a book of poetry I wrote back in the late 1980’s when I was single and living in San Francisco. I thought I’d share one or two that aren’t just really dumb with you. The muse did not stay with me for long, so hang on every word; these are collectors’ items!
Darkness falls, meeting the rising mist.
Out at sea a ship heads for port.
The seals are splashing the jagged rocks,
Oblivious to all but their sport.
A pensive ghost melody haunts the cool air,
Steamlike wisps are borne on the breeze;
As if the sun had just dropped from the sky
And submerged in the cold silver sea.
Beneath where I stand on the dark craggy shore
Lies a structure succumbed and unnamed.
Beside it are skeletal remains of a tree
Which the forces of nature have claimed.
This stark silhouette to the twilight sky
Reminds me of love long since past.
A great gardened mansion, it fell being built;
And I fled from its gables aghast.
I walk down alone to the cold windy beach;
Second guessing decisions I’ve made.
Pulling my cloak close around me, I shudder inside
And a quivering confusion pervades.
When I embarked on my quest for Fulfillment and light
Did I relinquish my claim on romance?
Did I really believe that the search for my Self
Meant I could no longer join in the Dance?
Why doesn’t God answer my prayers anymore?
Were my dreams just some fanciful flights?
If they were only imaginings of an unworthy mind
Why were they sent to me night after night?
I’m loath to believe I’m to stay all alone;
There’s so much within me to share.
Yet it seems that my destiny is found in between
Little breaks in my dark solitaire.
The breeze has combined with the thickening mist,
Covering me in a light weeping rain.
The seals are still playing and splashing the rocks,
Oblivious to me and my pain.
As I hear them, I smile and chuckle inside;
They don’t question the lives that they lead!
They just swim in the sea and dive from the rocks;
Trusting God to provide what they need!
I return to my ship and head back to port,
Strangely calm from the voyage tonight.
In a few quiet hours the sun will ascend;
Somehow things will again be all right.
“Why do you not love me now?”
She asked to no reply.
“Did you ever love me, then?
And if you didn’t, why?”
The question hung as if ‘twere limp
And lifeless in the air.
His facial muscles still and calm;
His eyes just blankly stared.
When he finally moved to speak,
She inhaled a breath of knives.
He told her, “I won’t make a move
Which will ruin both our lives.”
“That wasn’t what I asked,” she cried.
“Don’t put me on a shelf!”
To this he turned and whispered soft,
“You did that to yourself.”
Running down the darkened hall
Behind a bouncing dot of light,
My mind shrieks as it recalls
Other runs on other nights.
On either side are many doors
Some stand open; others locked.
A pool of light spreads on the floor
‘Neath the one on which I knocked.
It opens slowly on its own
“Do come in,” a voice invites.
“You’ll find in here a safety zone.”
From the bait I take the bite.
The room seems warm and is furnished well
Richly dressed in fine brocade.
It has a faint magnolia smell
And old Southern lemonade.
While I admire a doily made of lace
And a Swiss-made cuckoo clock,
In the mirror I see a fleeting face
And the bolt turns in the lock.
“Please wait!” I cry and rush to find
There is no doorknob there.
But I shrug and think, “Oh, never mind;
I’ll relax here in my chair.”
But I discover as I turn that I
Am now in another room.
A bed of stone now greets my eye;
Like one found inside a tomb.
From somewhere far beyond the door
I hear a wicked laugh.
It pierces deeply to my core;
Have I met my darker half?
I hear my voice scream, “Let me out!”
And feel a wind both cold and brisk.
It seems safety doesn’t banish doubt
And it carries its own risk.
SAN FRANCISCO SKY GAZING
I’m a hopeless fan of sunsets
They’re so beautiful to see
I’ve not encountered e’en one yet
That failed to humble me.
They’re stunning when high-cloudy skies
Make purple and orange hues.
Rivaled only by the next sunrise
With its shades of rust and blues.
For me, the mountains are the best
For viewing our Father’s show
When the sky’s reflected on the crest
Of a soft, new-fallen snow.
There’s a quiet, calm serenity
As it sinks behind the ridge
And gold magic clothes the City
As it silhouettes the Bridge.
Somehow deep within my soul
There’s a wistfulness it seems
As the sun’s now just a glowing coal
And I’m lost inside my dreams.
And as the rain softly falls outside, making the rivers that much more swollen, I’ll retreat to sleep and get lost inside my dreams. Wherever you are tonight, stay safe and warm and dry! Next time, I promise to post something relevant!